United Way of Howard County

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Big Brothers/Big Sisters Success Story

Ryan was a preteen who was having alot of difficulties dealing with a new school following a transitional move within Kokomo. He also was an excellent and gifted math student at his former middle school and was even trying to do advanced trigonometry math on his leizurely time. However, his new school did not believe Ryan and wanted him to take placement math tests to prove his math abilities. This put Ryan in a bad mood (he refused to take the placement tests and would not do his less advanced math assignments) and that is when his troubles at school began and affected his attitude. To couple the issues, his father was taking him for his visits, but would only watch TV and did not talk much to Ryan. According to Ryan, he would just stay indoors and in his bedroom on his father's weekends. Dad was a trucker and was exhausted from his long distance travels.

Ryan's mom came into my office and was beside herself with frustration and was in tears. I interviewed Ryan and could see how troubling his problems were and knew that if I did not match him quickly that he would go downhill fast at school. In all my years here at BBBS, I had never had a child cry how badly that they wanted someone to just talk to them. I couldn't hold back my tears either. A first for me too.

Not too long later, I interviewed Kevin, a mentor candidate and I quickly processed and screened him and got him on the waiting list. I knew that Kevin would make an excellent mentor to a child, so I pulled out my most needly children. That is when I looked at Ryan's interests and Kevin's and knew that Kevin's pleasant personality would be great for Ryan.

I contacted all parties and they met. It was not hard to see how badly that they both wanted matched to each other. I matched Ryan and Kevin that day and the match has been going on for three years now.

Presently, Ryan's grades are better and more consistent, and his mom reports that his attitude is a lot better too. Kevin and Ryan have become involved with the Soap Box Derby and Ryan has placed in his division. Kevin takes a few hours each week during the middle of the week and does simple activites with Ryan like making dinner together (both are learning how to cook) or eating out and seeing a movie, or just talking on the phone.

When Ryan and Kevin attend Big Brother Big Sisters events during the year, I can see how their relationship has evolved into something special. The first year, Kevin and Ryan were more quiet around each other. Kevin does not have children of his own, so he relied on me sometimes to coach him that is was OK to give Ryan some direction and some guidance. The second year I could see more of a brotherly kind of relationship with joking and more smiles from Ryan and Kevin seemed to know how to make him laugh. This past year, I can definitely seem how the two of them have started to wrestle around and Kevin seems to know alot about Ryan and visa versa. They seem very comfortable around each other.

As for Ryan's father, he has met Kevin early on into the match and has accepted Kevin not as a threat, but as someone who spends time with his son. Ryan's father attends the soap box derby and cheers Ryan and Kevin on.

This is the kind of job where I see the heartache and the pain of parents and children. When I have a tough week and I think the world has gone mad, I think of Kevin and Ryan and smile and know that we can make a diference in a child's life, making magic, one child at a time. I know that with more male mentor volunteers like Kevin, that I could make a difference in a child's life. And with your help, I can!

-- Submitted by Big Brothers/Big Sisters Case Manager Astrid Shockley

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